{"id":1090,"date":"2022-03-14T06:54:37","date_gmt":"2022-03-13T17:54:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.thegift.nz\/?p=1090"},"modified":"2022-03-14T13:03:03","modified_gmt":"2022-03-14T00:03:03","slug":"blog-7-dancing-with-a-machine","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.thegift.nz\/blog-7-dancing-with-a-machine\/","title":{"rendered":"Blog 7 &#8211; Dancing with a machine!"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"1090\" class=\"elementor elementor-1090\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section data-particle_enable=\"false\" data-particle-mobile-disabled=\"false\" class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-72084974 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"72084974\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;gradient&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-7d83a0d7\" data-id=\"7d83a0d7\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section data-particle_enable=\"false\" data-particle-mobile-disabled=\"false\" class=\"elementor-section elementor-inner-section elementor-element elementor-element-a449a7e elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"a449a7e\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-ec0dd42\" data-id=\"ec0dd42\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-8b35cd9 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"8b35cd9\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<style>\/*! elementor - v3.20.0 - 20-03-2024 *\/\n.elementor-heading-title{padding:0;margin:0;line-height:1}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title[class*=elementor-size-]>a{color:inherit;font-size:inherit;line-height:inherit}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title.elementor-size-small{font-size:15px}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title.elementor-size-medium{font-size:19px}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title.elementor-size-large{font-size:29px}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title.elementor-size-xl{font-size:39px}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title.elementor-size-xxl{font-size:59px}<\/style><h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Dancing with a machine!<\/h2>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section data-particle_enable=\"false\" data-particle-mobile-disabled=\"false\" class=\"elementor-section elementor-inner-section elementor-element elementor-element-38e72c2 elementor-reverse-mobile elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"38e72c2\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-2ed8102\" data-id=\"2ed8102\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a931797 elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"a931797\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<style>\/*! elementor - v3.20.0 - 20-03-2024 *\/\n.elementor-widget-image{text-align:center}.elementor-widget-image a{display:inline-block}.elementor-widget-image a img[src$=\".svg\"]{width:48px}.elementor-widget-image img{vertical-align:middle;display:inline-block}<\/style>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"743\" height=\"1078\" src=\"https:\/\/www.thegift.nz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/Dancing-with-a-Machine.jpg\" class=\"attachment-full size-full wp-image-1092\" alt=\"Dancing with a machine\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.thegift.nz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/Dancing-with-a-Machine.jpg 743w, https:\/\/www.thegift.nz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/Dancing-with-a-Machine-207x300.jpg 207w, https:\/\/www.thegift.nz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/Dancing-with-a-Machine-706x1024.jpg 706w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 743px) 100vw, 743px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-182cc1b elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"182cc1b\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<style>\/*! elementor - v3.20.0 - 20-03-2024 *\/\n.elementor-widget-text-editor.elementor-drop-cap-view-stacked .elementor-drop-cap{background-color:#69727d;color:#fff}.elementor-widget-text-editor.elementor-drop-cap-view-framed .elementor-drop-cap{color:#69727d;border:3px solid;background-color:transparent}.elementor-widget-text-editor:not(.elementor-drop-cap-view-default) .elementor-drop-cap{margin-top:8px}.elementor-widget-text-editor:not(.elementor-drop-cap-view-default) .elementor-drop-cap-letter{width:1em;height:1em}.elementor-widget-text-editor .elementor-drop-cap{float:left;text-align:center;line-height:1;font-size:50px}.elementor-widget-text-editor .elementor-drop-cap-letter{display:inline-block}<\/style>\t\t\t\t<p>Surveilled &amp; surrounded by linear accelerator Rongo m\u00e3 T\u00e3ne March 2022<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-bb763e7\" data-id=\"bb763e7\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-610c8a7 elementor-widget elementor-widget-accordion\" data-id=\"610c8a7\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"accordion.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<style>\/*! elementor - v3.20.0 - 20-03-2024 *\/\n.elementor-accordion{text-align:left}.elementor-accordion .elementor-accordion-item{border:1px solid #d5d8dc}.elementor-accordion .elementor-accordion-item+.elementor-accordion-item{border-top:none}.elementor-accordion .elementor-tab-title{margin:0;padding:15px 20px;font-weight:700;line-height:1;cursor:pointer;outline:none}.elementor-accordion .elementor-tab-title .elementor-accordion-icon{display:inline-block;width:1.5em}.elementor-accordion .elementor-tab-title .elementor-accordion-icon svg{width:1em;height:1em}.elementor-accordion .elementor-tab-title .elementor-accordion-icon.elementor-accordion-icon-right{float:right;text-align:right}.elementor-accordion .elementor-tab-title .elementor-accordion-icon.elementor-accordion-icon-left{float:left;text-align:left}.elementor-accordion .elementor-tab-title .elementor-accordion-icon .elementor-accordion-icon-closed{display:block}.elementor-accordion .elementor-tab-title .elementor-accordion-icon .elementor-accordion-icon-opened,.elementor-accordion .elementor-tab-title.elementor-active .elementor-accordion-icon-closed{display:none}.elementor-accordion .elementor-tab-title.elementor-active .elementor-accordion-icon-opened{display:block}.elementor-accordion .elementor-tab-content{display:none;padding:15px 20px;border-top:1px solid #d5d8dc}@media (max-width:767px){.elementor-accordion .elementor-tab-title{padding:12px 15px}.elementor-accordion .elementor-tab-title .elementor-accordion-icon{width:1.2em}.elementor-accordion .elementor-tab-content{padding:7px 15px}}.e-con-inner>.elementor-widget-accordion,.e-con>.elementor-widget-accordion{width:var(--container-widget-width);--flex-grow:var(--container-widget-flex-grow)}<\/style>\t\t<div class=\"elementor-accordion\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-accordion-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div id=\"elementor-tab-title-1011\" class=\"elementor-tab-title\" data-tab=\"1\" role=\"button\" aria-controls=\"elementor-tab-content-1011\" aria-expanded=\"false\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-accordion-icon elementor-accordion-icon-left\" aria-hidden=\"true\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-accordion-icon-closed\"><svg class=\"e-font-icon-svg e-fas-ribbon\" viewBox=\"0 0 448 512\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\"><path d=\"M6.1 444.3c-9.6 10.8-7.5 27.6 4.5 35.7l68.8 27.9c9.9 6.7 23.3 5 31.3-3.8l91.8-101.9-79.2-87.9-117.2 130zm435.8 0s-292-324.6-295.4-330.1c15.4-8.4 40.2-17.9 77.5-17.9s62.1 9.5 77.5 17.9c-3.3 5.6-56 64.6-56 64.6l79.1 87.7 34.2-38c28.7-31.9 33.3-78.6 11.4-115.5l-43.7-73.5c-4.3-7.2-9.9-13.3-16.8-18-40.7-27.6-127.4-29.7-171.4 0-6.9 4.7-12.5 10.8-16.8 18l-43.6 73.2c-1.5 2.5-37.1 62.2 11.5 116L337.5 504c8 8.9 21.4 10.5 31.3 3.8l68.8-27.9c11.9-8 14-24.8 4.3-35.6z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-accordion-icon-opened\"><svg class=\"e-font-icon-svg e-fas-ribbon\" viewBox=\"0 0 448 512\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\"><path d=\"M6.1 444.3c-9.6 10.8-7.5 27.6 4.5 35.7l68.8 27.9c9.9 6.7 23.3 5 31.3-3.8l91.8-101.9-79.2-87.9-117.2 130zm435.8 0s-292-324.6-295.4-330.1c15.4-8.4 40.2-17.9 77.5-17.9s62.1 9.5 77.5 17.9c-3.3 5.6-56 64.6-56 64.6l79.1 87.7 34.2-38c28.7-31.9 33.3-78.6 11.4-115.5l-43.7-73.5c-4.3-7.2-9.9-13.3-16.8-18-40.7-27.6-127.4-29.7-171.4 0-6.9 4.7-12.5 10.8-16.8 18l-43.6 73.2c-1.5 2.5-37.1 62.2 11.5 116L337.5 504c8 8.9 21.4 10.5 31.3 3.8l68.8-27.9c11.9-8 14-24.8 4.3-35.6z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-accordion-title\" tabindex=\"0\">Blog<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<div id=\"elementor-tab-content-1011\" class=\"elementor-tab-content elementor-clearfix\" data-tab=\"1\" role=\"region\" aria-labelledby=\"elementor-tab-title-1011\"><p><strong>You can breathe and swallow but don\u2019t move<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo \u2026 no \u2026 don\u2019t try to help \u2026 we\u2019ll move you\u201d. The 2 radiation technicians focus intently on the alignment of laser lines with the 4 tiny radiotherapy tatoos on my chest. Everything needs to be millimetre perfect. \u2026 important measurements are discussed, identified and agreed. A couple more minor tugs and maneuvers and my position is declared to be \u201cperfect\u201d. Knees are nicely supported, arms and hands are immobilized well behind my head. My bald scalp sinks into &amp; sticks to the vinyl donut beneath, forcing my gaze upwards towards the beautiful koru pattern on the ceiling.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat is this big gel pad called\u201d, I ask.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou are full of questions today\u201d, she replies as my warm chest is shocked by having the large cold gel sheet applied, smoothed to the contours of my chest and taped into position. \u201cIt\u2019s called a bolus\u201d.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhy do they call this a bolus?\u201d. I just can\u2019t help myself wanting to know how things work. This must be annoying for technicians who churn through dozens of patients every day, but these two take it in their stride.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThis is to fool Rongo (my linear accelerator) into delivering radiation more closely to your skin, which is where your Oncologist wants it \u2026 there are lots of different types of boluses \u2026 this one is called <strong>super-flab<\/strong>\u201d, she said, smile lines intensifying around the edge of her mask.<\/p>\n<p>The irony of that statement wasn\u2019t lost on me. \u201cOh, very appropriate for me then\u201d, I quipped, joining in the banter. That was both funny &amp; embarrassing \u2026&nbsp; super-flab \u2026 heck, that\u2019s a bit close-to-home<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOK Marie, breathe away quietly\u201d. As they retreat inside their lead-lined viewing room there is a firm parting instruction, \u201cYou can breathe. You can swallow \u2026 but DON\u2019T MOVE \u2026 not even 1 millimetre. See you in about 6 minutes\u201d. Feeling sufficiently warned, I concentrate on relaxing every muscle in my body and breathing quietly using my diaphragm, not my chest. Yes, not many millimetres chest rise \u2026 good \u2026 I celebrate my ability to relax and completely surrender to the machine.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-1101 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/www.thegift.nz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/My-view-beyond-Rongo-on-the-ceiling-March-2022.jpg\" alt=\"My view beyond Rongo on the ceiling, March 2022\" width=\"765\" height=\"1020\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.thegift.nz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/My-view-beyond-Rongo-on-the-ceiling-March-2022.jpg 765w, https:\/\/www.thegift.nz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/My-view-beyond-Rongo-on-the-ceiling-March-2022-225x300.jpg 225w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 765px) 100vw, 765px\" \/> My view beyond Rongo on the ceiling, March 2022<\/p>\n<div><span style=\"color: var( --e-global-color-text ); font-family: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-family ), Sans-serif; font-size: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-size ); font-weight: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-weight ); background-color: var( --e-global-color-primary );\">I feel like a human being captured, restrained &amp; prepared for experimentation by aliens in a sci-fi movie. Rongo, both friend &amp; foe I have decided, has performed his 6-minute exacting dance with me every day this week. His huge grey metallic head &amp; 2 flanking scanners start with 2 full rotations, whirring &amp; encircling my body like a bird above its prey detailing its path of attack. The linear accelerator\u2019s massive steel head hovers and clunks solidly into position over my left chest. I feel myself being drawn to within 30cm of his imposing grey steel delivery aperture. zzzzzzzzzzzzzz \u2026 Rongo engages, arcing backwards and forwards across my chest, hovering over my right armpit and then moving back around towards my shoulder blade. zzzzzzz \u2026 I wonder what is happening back there \u2026 his motion is stalled but apparently Rongo is directing a long destructive invisible beam of radiation just beneath the skin on the right side of my chest. The super-flab silicone gel layer ensures protection for my ribs and right lung. Rongo is deliberate in his movement, delivering radiation to the remains of my right chest wall, armpit and collarbone; the areas from which 29 lymph nodes were surgically removed. I can wiggle my gaze downwards just enough to see the intriguing patterns of multiple steel filaments in the delivery head, dancing like Siri on my iPhone, constantly morphing, limiting and shaping invisible rays to roast seleced areas whilst minimizing unnecessary radiation burns elsewhere. My brain realizes that this is going to have cumulative tissue-damaging effects, yet at the same time I find it really fascinating.<\/span><br><\/div><div>\n<p><strong>Join the club<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-1102\" src=\"https:\/\/www.thegift.nz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/My-radiotherapy-club-uniform-March-2022.jpg\" alt=\"My radiotherapy club uniform, March 2022\" width=\"677\" height=\"648\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.thegift.nz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/My-radiotherapy-club-uniform-March-2022.jpg 677w, https:\/\/www.thegift.nz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/My-radiotherapy-club-uniform-March-2022-300x287.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 677px) 100vw, 677px\" \/><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>My radiotherapy club uniform, March 2022<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOK, that\u2019s all for today\u201d. A cheerful voice emerges from the protected control area. \u201cI\u2019ve left a RAT test by your bag for you to do at home before your appointment next Monday, OK? &nbsp;\u2026 Your appointment is too early for anyone to be downstairs when you arrive. I put your timetable for next week there too\u201d.<\/p>\n<p>Yes, it\u2019s all routine now. I\u2019ve done my week one apprenticeship as a radiotherapy patient &amp; I am now trusted to arrive slightly early for each appointment and to perform my own eye-watering RAT tests before leaving home on Mondays and Thursdays.<\/p>\n<p>Once Rongo &amp; the 2 scanners resume their resting positions, I pull myself upright, slip into my gown and jandals &amp; head back out to the waiting room. Radiotherapy patients are like club members. We\u2019ve all been issued with one green patient gown that we are responsible to wash, and a cream-coloured cloth bag to put our belongings into. I briefly sit with 3 or 4 others as I check next week\u2019s schedule. \u201cHow many is this for you?\u201d, someone asks \u2026. \u201cHow are you finding it \u2026 you OK?\u201d \u2026 \u201cLooks like you had chemo already\u201d. My bald head is a dead giveaway to that. All comforting and supportive club chat. I find it surprising that I haven\u2019t yet met anyone else who is bald following chemo in the waiting room. The all seem to be having radiotherapy only. As I walk back to the car I spot a white cloth bag clutched to the chest of someone heading towards their own cell-damaging dance with one of the 4 linear accelerators upstairs. There\u2019s an unspoken sense of solidarity as we acknowledge each other in passing.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #800080;\">Click on &#8220;The Gift&#8221; below to read about the gifts Marie has identified&#8230;<\/span><\/p><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-accordion-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div id=\"elementor-tab-title-1012\" class=\"elementor-tab-title\" data-tab=\"2\" role=\"button\" aria-controls=\"elementor-tab-content-1012\" aria-expanded=\"false\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-accordion-icon elementor-accordion-icon-left\" aria-hidden=\"true\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-accordion-icon-closed\"><svg class=\"e-font-icon-svg e-fas-ribbon\" viewBox=\"0 0 448 512\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\"><path d=\"M6.1 444.3c-9.6 10.8-7.5 27.6 4.5 35.7l68.8 27.9c9.9 6.7 23.3 5 31.3-3.8l91.8-101.9-79.2-87.9-117.2 130zm435.8 0s-292-324.6-295.4-330.1c15.4-8.4 40.2-17.9 77.5-17.9s62.1 9.5 77.5 17.9c-3.3 5.6-56 64.6-56 64.6l79.1 87.7 34.2-38c28.7-31.9 33.3-78.6 11.4-115.5l-43.7-73.5c-4.3-7.2-9.9-13.3-16.8-18-40.7-27.6-127.4-29.7-171.4 0-6.9 4.7-12.5 10.8-16.8 18l-43.6 73.2c-1.5 2.5-37.1 62.2 11.5 116L337.5 504c8 8.9 21.4 10.5 31.3 3.8l68.8-27.9c11.9-8 14-24.8 4.3-35.6z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-accordion-icon-opened\"><svg class=\"e-font-icon-svg e-fas-ribbon\" viewBox=\"0 0 448 512\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\"><path d=\"M6.1 444.3c-9.6 10.8-7.5 27.6 4.5 35.7l68.8 27.9c9.9 6.7 23.3 5 31.3-3.8l91.8-101.9-79.2-87.9-117.2 130zm435.8 0s-292-324.6-295.4-330.1c15.4-8.4 40.2-17.9 77.5-17.9s62.1 9.5 77.5 17.9c-3.3 5.6-56 64.6-56 64.6l79.1 87.7 34.2-38c28.7-31.9 33.3-78.6 11.4-115.5l-43.7-73.5c-4.3-7.2-9.9-13.3-16.8-18-40.7-27.6-127.4-29.7-171.4 0-6.9 4.7-12.5 10.8-16.8 18l-43.6 73.2c-1.5 2.5-37.1 62.2 11.5 116L337.5 504c8 8.9 21.4 10.5 31.3 3.8l68.8-27.9c11.9-8 14-24.8 4.3-35.6z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-accordion-title\" tabindex=\"0\">The Gift<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<div id=\"elementor-tab-content-1012\" class=\"elementor-tab-content elementor-clearfix\" data-tab=\"2\" role=\"region\" aria-labelledby=\"elementor-tab-title-1012\"><p><strong>Dancing with the machine \u2013 the gifts.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I wasn\u2019t expecting to start radiation treatment until I had finished my 6 sessions of chemotherapy sometime in May. Unfortunately the Oncology team had to cancel all of the 5 remaining doses after my kidneys, heart and gut took such a huge hit with the first dose on 4<sup>th<\/sup> January. I knew I wouldn\u2019t have survived 5 more infusions of those vicious poisons, but I had pinned my hopes on it to eradicate any remaining triple negative cancer cells. Radiotherapy is not effective for triple negative breast cancer.&nbsp; This radiotherapy is a follow-up for the first malignancy found in September; the grade 1 infiltrating ductal carcinoma, for which I had a wide excision. This is now very much a journey of faith and hope for me. I may not know how to come out of this on top by myself, but I believe that God has gone into my future and knows what\u2019s coming. He can heal me if that is in His plan for my life.<\/p>\n<p><strong>The gifts<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-1111\" src=\"https:\/\/www.thegift.nz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/Clinical-trial-comparing-chest-protection-against-radiation-burns-March-2022.jpg\" alt=\"Clinical trial comparing chest protection against radiation burns March 2022\" width=\"573\" height=\"601\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.thegift.nz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/Clinical-trial-comparing-chest-protection-against-radiation-burns-March-2022.jpg 573w, https:\/\/www.thegift.nz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/Clinical-trial-comparing-chest-protection-against-radiation-burns-March-2022-286x300.jpg 286w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 573px) 100vw, 573px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Clinical trial comparing chest protection against radiation burns March 2022<\/p>\n<p><strong><u>Gift.<\/u><\/strong> I don\u2019t under-estimate how fortunate I am to live close to the Regional Cancer Centre in Palmerston North. I feel vulnerable now that chemotherapy has been withdrawn. I am consequently committed to getting maximum gains from radiotherapy. I have enrolled in a nation-wide clinical trial comparing the effectiveness of 2 products in protecting skin from radiation burns. Half of the irradiated area on my chest is covered with a clear Mepitil film. I apply a flexible silicone cream dressing to the other half every morning and night. My research nurse takes photos and meets with me each week to monitor changes in skin condition and sensation during my 3-week course of radiotherapy. She will continue on with me for a further 4 weeks. I guess it&#8217;s a bit like having trainer wheels when you are learning to ride a bike. I don\u2019t mind that \u2026 am just very grateful for the extra 4 weeks of support and surveillance, especially after the awful chemotherapy.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-1112\" src=\"https:\/\/www.thegift.nz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/I-understand-what-this-feels-like.-March-2022.jpg\" alt=\"I understand what this feels like. March 2022\" width=\"644\" height=\"617\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.thegift.nz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/I-understand-what-this-feels-like.-March-2022.jpg 644w, https:\/\/www.thegift.nz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/I-understand-what-this-feels-like.-March-2022-300x287.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 644px) 100vw, 644px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>I understand what this feels like. March 2022<\/p>\n<p><strong>Gift. <\/strong>The fact that I can write this blog and authentically share my experiences, joys and tears with you is a gift. I have a story to tell. In my vulnerability I find that I am developing a new sense of security and confidence in my own skin which is a welcome development. And who knows, I may be able to support or help someone else going through something similar now or in the future. I\u2019m sure we will&nbsp; look back and appreciate that all of these experiences had a purpose.<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>I received a letter in the mail today from my Radiation Oncologist Dorothy outlining the things I might reasonably expect from the ongoing effects of radiation treatment:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Fatigue that will develop during radiation and last for 4-6 weeks after completion.<\/li>\n<li>A skin reaction will develop in the radiation field towards the end of treatment and reach its peak 1-2 weeks after completion. (Hopefully the skin coverings will reduce this).<\/li>\n<li>Due to radiation in the sub-clavicle nodal areas, I will probably experience a sore throat from minor oesophageal burns towards the end of radiation treatment and for a few weeks afterwards.<\/li>\n<li>Increased stiffness of the right shoulder joint and ongoing increased risk of lymphoedema in the right arm.<\/li>\n<li>The right rib cage will become more brittle, increasing the risk of rib fractures in the event of any chest trauma in the future.<\/li>\n<li>Scarring of a small amount of the right lower lobe of the lung will always be evident on chest Xray.<\/li>\n<li>There is a theoretical risk of malignancy secondary to radiation damage to the chest and axilla.<br><br><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Don\u2019t feel sorry for me because I am heading for a long-term purpose-driven, love and joy-filled life. Remember that precious metals get their strength from being heated and put under pressure. There is a saying that a woman is like a tea bag \u2026. you don\u2019t know how strong it is until it is put in hot water! This is a time of great personal strengthening for me, which is a gift to be treasured. Joyce Myer, a well-known Christian teacher writes that we must understand that no other human being on the face of the earth can develop our potential for us. We must each discover our own God-given gifts and talents, what we are truly capable of, and then put ourselves to the task of developing these gifts, talents and capabilities to their fullest extent.<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><strong style=\"color: var( --e-global-color-text ); font-family: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-family ), Sans-serif; font-size: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-size ); background-color: var( --e-global-color-primary );\">Jeremiah 29: 11-13<\/strong><span style=\"color: var( --e-global-color-text ); font-family: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-family ), Sans-serif; font-size: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-size ); font-weight: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-weight ); background-color: var( --e-global-color-primary );\"> in The New American Standard translation of the Bible says, \u201cFor I know the plans I have for you, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find me, when you search for Me with all your heart\u201d. What an incredible gift from God.<\/span><\/p><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dancing with a machine! Surveilled &amp; surrounded by linear accelerator Rongo m\u00e3 T\u00e3ne March 2022 Blog You can breathe and swallow but don\u2019t move \u201cNo \u2026 no \u2026 don\u2019t try to help \u2026 we\u2019ll move you\u201d. The 2 radiation technicians focus intently on the alignment of laser lines with the 4 tiny radiotherapy tatoos on [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"elementor_header_footer","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"none","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thegift.nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1090"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thegift.nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thegift.nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thegift.nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thegift.nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1090"}],"version-history":[{"count":29,"href":"https:\/\/www.thegift.nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1090\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1142,"href":"https:\/\/www.thegift.nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1090\/revisions\/1142"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thegift.nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1090"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thegift.nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1090"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thegift.nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1090"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}